The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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