so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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