Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
