I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
