When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
