dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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