My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
