no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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