I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
