I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
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we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
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Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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