He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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