I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We're too hungover to prance.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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