R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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