Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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