One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize