Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
