Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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