tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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