I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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