Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
