let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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