if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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