it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
