I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We left an ass print on the piano.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
