I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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