Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize