Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
