I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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