My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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