1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
