Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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