xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you win again, gameday.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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