what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
