we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
