i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
