let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
