At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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