piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
