areolas are like halos for boobs.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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