I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
