and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
