Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
