Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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