Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
