wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
