I wanna bring you to show and tell
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
