Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
