Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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