dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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