so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
