He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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