just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
