the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
