well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm too high and old for this...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
