I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
