it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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