After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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