i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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