New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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