tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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