I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize