my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
