I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
