Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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